Jak se baví internet: Černochová vystoupí z OSN alespoň sama
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Co řekne žena nachytaná in flagranti?
Němka: Hans, řekl jsi, že se vrátíš v deset a je teprve devět!!
Francouzka: Piere, to je ale překvapení – nepřidáš se k nám?
Židovka: Chaime, jsi to opravdu ty? A kdo je to tedy vedle mne v posteli?
Islámský kazatel Zakir Naik nastoupil v Londýně do taxíku a řekl taxikáři:
– Bratře, prosím vypni rádio, protože jak říká svatý Korán nemám dovoleno poslouchat hudbu, protože v době proroka nebyla žádná západní hudba, která je hudbou nevěřících.
Taxikář zdvořile vypnul rádio, zastavil taxi a otevřel dveře.
Zakir se ho zeptal:
– Bratře, co to děláš…?
Taxikář zdvořile odpověděl:
– V době proroka: nebyly žádné taxíky, žádné bomby, v mešitách nebyly žádné reproduktory, které by vyřvávaly na celé kolo, žádné sebevražedné útoky nebyly.
Tak zmlkněte, jděte ven a počkejte si na velblouda.
Po Madridu se prochází Jakob Greenbaum a na rohu ulice ho zastaví svůdná prostitutka a vzrušeně mu šeptá do ucha: „Za 50 pesos ti udělám, co budeš chtít.“
Jakob se rozzáří a říká: „Báječné, jsme domluveni! Nutně bych potřeboval vymalovat obývák.“
Moše nemohl dlouho najít práci a tak se rozhodl otevřít si vlastní kliniku. Na dveře si napsal: „Vyléčíme vám nemoc – zaplatíte 5000 rublů, pokud vám nepomůžeme, vrátíme vám 10 000.“ Kolemjdoucího lékaře ta nehoráznost naštvala a rozhodl se, že samozvaného léčitele potrestá.
– Dobrý den, nevím, co se stalo, ztratil jsem chuť na jídlo, všechno je teď stejné, bez chuti …..
– Sestřičko, přineste prosím balení 22 se sirupem a dejte ho pacientovi.
– Dobře, otevřete prosím ústa…..
– Uf… to je benzín!
– Gratuluji, vrátila se vám chuť, tak to bude pět tisíc.
Doktor byl strašně naštvaný, ale zaplatil. Za pár dní se ale vrátil:
– Dobrý den, ztratil jsem paměť, pomozte mi….
– Sestřičko, přineste prosím balení 22 se sirupem a dejte ho pacientovi.
– Paciente, otevřete prosím ústa …
– Ale to je přece benzín!
– Gratuluji, vrátila se vám paměť, dlužíte mi 5000 rublů.
Doktora to vytočilo, zaplatil, ale o pár dní později se rozhodl, že tentokrát vyzraje:
– Dobrý den, přišel jsem o zrak, pomozte mi, prosím…..
– To je mi líto, ale nemůžeme vám pomoci. Tady máte svých deset tisíc.
– Ale to je jen pět tisíc!
– Gratuluji, vrátil se vám zrak, to je 5000.
Ministryně obrany Jana Černochová se ostře ohradila proti rezoluci OSN, která vyzývá k humanitárnímu příměří mezi Izraelem a hnutím Hamás, aniž by jmenovala Hamás jako strůjce zvěrstev, která se odehrála v Izraeli. Následně předestřela myšlenku, že v takové organizaci nemá Česká republika co pohledávat, a vyjádřila se pro odchod České republiky z OSN. Dokonce zašla tak daleko, že dala České republice ultimátum dvacet čtyři hodin na opuštění OSN.
Česká republika ultimátum Jany Černochové nesplnila, tak se ministryně obrany rozhodla, že vystoupí z OSN alespoň sama.
„Dnes v noci jsem vystoupila z OSN. Tato organizace již dávno přestala plnit své funkce. Na půdě OSN se pouze dlouze diskutuje, opatrně se nastiňují témata a při nejlepším OSN něco hromadně odsoudí anebo drží za něco minutu ticha. Reálně nezmění vůbec nic a ani se o to nepokouší. OSN došlo do fáze, kdy se ani nesnaží něco změnit. OSN prostě jenom je. A je k hovnu. Nehodlám být dále součástí tohoto obskurního uskupení, a proto OSN opouštím. Neopouštím ho nejen já a moje nejbližší rodina, ale rovněž z pozice ministryně obrany hlásím, že OSN opouští i celé ministerstvo. Všichni jeho zaměstnanci a také jsme nechali z OSN vyškrtnout nejbližší parkoviště,“ uvedla ministryně obrany na tiskové konferenci.
Svým činem ministryně obrany rozpoutala ve společnosti poměrně vášnivou diskusi. Zatímco právníci to označují za nevídaný precedent a snaží se v paragrafech dohledat, co bude teď dál, někteří politici její krok odsuzují a jiní se jim naopak inspirují.
„Já jsem nevěděl, že něco takového jde. Teď když jsem zjistil, že to je možné, okamžitě vystupuju z Evropské unie a z NATO. Společně se mnou opouští Evropskou unii celé SPD,“ začal okamžitě jednat Tomio Okamura, kterému se konečně podařilo splnit si svůj sen.
Vystoupení ministryně obrany Černochové z OSN vyvolalo reakce nejen u nás, ale i ve světě a hlavně v samotné OSN, kde se začalo okamžitě diskutovat, hlasovat, odsuzovat a držet minuty ticha.
„Bezprostředně po oznámení, že česká ministryně obrany vystupuje z OSN, zasedalo shromáždění OSN, kde jsme dlouze diskutovali a nakonec si odhlasovali, že vystoupení Černochové z OSN odsuzujeme.
Když jsme se dohodli, že to odsuzujeme, znovu jsme jednali a usnesli jsme se, že vyzýváme paní Černochovou ke klidu. Pokud se paní Černochová do jednoho týdne neuklidní, nezbyde nám jiná možnost než držet za paní Černochovou minutu ticha. Jinou cestu nevidím,“ vyjádřil se k situaci s Černochovou Gudrun Klein, předseda komise OSN pro zachování zbytečnosti OSN.
Ministryně obrany Černochová má tak ze strany OSN nůž na krku, protože pokud nepřehodnotí své vystoupení, reálně hrozí, že za ni bude OSN držet minutu ticha.
A pár tweetů od Dojnice:
- A ty halloweenský kostýmky s připomínkou masakru na mnichovské olympiádě se jako prodávají kde? Já jen jestli by tam neměli nějakou slušivou uniformu SS nebo aspoň hábit Kukluxklanu.
- Byly to nervy, ale nakonec předsednictvo ANO po dlouhém jednání jeho kandidaturu schválilo.
- Jak říkával Tomáš Halík… islám je náboženství míru.
- Vždycky mi přišlo obdivuhodné, jak lidé dokážou dlouhodobě žít někde v nehostinných podmínkách daleko od civilizace. Třeba v Polici nad Metují je jediná kavárna a ta ještě zavírá v devět.
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